This is My Prayerwall

Closing down the blog....

2008-07-09T00:40:00.003+08:00

Hi Everyone, I thought I want to inform you guys that I would like to permanently close this blog as I can't keep up with having 2 online game account + expenses to keep up + blogging to do in spite of my very tight schedule..

So, i will maintain only 1 blog from now onwards, and it will be accessible from: http://lessonsilearntinlife.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

The Uncertain Future

2008-06-02T20:08:00.004+08:00

Am wondering what's God's plans for me now. Got to be more on the edge, or stay in where I am.

Things that are holding me back from going to China:
1) April, what should i do?
2) Housing in SG, I want to buy a house
3) Celia, who'll take care of things?
4) Barang Barang for Indo
5) Spirituality
6) BIS, the work that I am doing
7) Christians and my friends

Things that compels me to go China:
1) Helping my parents, fulfill my duty as eldest son
2) Excelling in the business of my Father
3) Lead a better future (possibly)
4) Reach out to my siblings and parents

I really wonder what I need to do... On one hand, I felt obligated to go. On the other, I felt really reluctant. Somehow, everyone's advise is to do otherwise.

God, God, what are you trying to teach me in this lesson of yours...

GF Requests.. and conversations with God

2008-04-07T22:54:00.002+08:00

I was wondering when i should ever update it, and i thought its a good thing to get real and start working on a focus for this blog.

As a friend told me, who's an internet Marketer, i thought i should follow his style and find a purpose for my blog...

After much thought, why not dedicate this again to how i can help others pray better!!!

One of my favourite 'stance' for prayer is when i go home... while walking home, i will use the time to reflect and ask God for revelations on what i have done.

it slowly became my 'conversation with God' kind of session... Where i will think deeply and take it as if God is around, what would i be speaking with Him about.

Oft I ask:
1) What do you think of "certain events today"?
2) What is my purpose in that event?
3) How did your name get glorifed in the situation/event?

Try that when you can!

Sometimes...

2007-10-25T16:22:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder where I will fly to.
Sometimes I wonder what I can dream for.
Sometimes I wonder how I can achieve.
Sometimes I wonder who I am made to be.
Sometimes I wonder when I can reach.

More often than not, I wonder where I am standing.
Before or after you, where should I be?
Send me, O send me... Make me ready before thee!

Using My Word 2007

2007-07-14T12:46:00.001+08:00

If this works, its going to be cool.

Am actually using the Microsoft Word 2007 to post a blog into the blogspot entry. Not sure if it works out… J

The Living water....

2007-06-07T01:07:00.000+08:00

"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David. - Isaiah 55:1 - 3

=======================

He says, "Come, all you who are thirsty."

"Alright, I am thirsty, I will come. But where do I come to quench my thirst?"

"Come to the waters."

"Yes, that makes sense; if I am thirsty I should come to the waters, but where are the waters?"

"Ah, excellent question. 'Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live.'"

Joke, do you see it now? The water is in the Word of God. Drinking comes by listening. The Bible is our source of true refreshment and quenching of our thirst.

====================

the truth is, i am thirsty for water where only God knows can quench my thirst...

Origin of Coffee...

2007-05-21T00:34:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to coffee lovers who ain't got time to surf no coffee website of mine..

What is Coffee?

the word "coffee", meaning "the drink", is a modified form of the turkish wordkahveh which, in turn, is derived from the Arabic kahwa (or qahwah).

coffee was initially consumed only as a part of religious ceremony or on the advice of a physician. Coffee was used to treat kidney stones, smallpox, measles and coughs.

How coffee was found, legend has it that in the depths of Abyssinia, today's Etophia, sometime around the middle of the ninth century, there lived a sober goatherd called Khaldi.

One day, his normally lethargic goats pranced home in an agitated state. Curious at their antics, he followed them and discovered that they had been nibbling red berries of an evergreen tree.

Khadi decided to try some himself and was soon in a state euphoria. In his excitement, he dashed off to broadcast his finding and came upon a Muslim Elder who was depressed by his tendency to nod off during prayers.

Khaldi led him to the secret of the red berries and coffee took its first steptowards becoming one of mankind's favourite pick-me-ups.

Being of a more academic frame of mind than the goatherd, the mullah experimented with the beries and eventually hit on the idea of boiling them, turning the raw fruit of the coffee tree into a fragrant and delicious beverage.

Coffee was then regarded as a wonder drug and was only consumed in Yemen and Arabia on the advice of a doctor. However, Coffee was too exciting to be restricted to medical use for long. The Arabs were jealous of their discovery and refused to allow fertile coffee seed to leave their country; all seeds had to be perched and boiled. However, late in the 15th century, a Muslim pilgrim called Baba Budan bounded 7 seeds to his torso and smuggled them out of Arabia to be planted at his hermitage near Chikamalagur in South India. It is said that all the world`s coffee flowed from these seven seeds.

There are basically two principle species. The Arabica which originated from the middle east and the most widely cultivated around the world. The Robusta which originated from Congo. Robusta trees are hardier and can withstand greater extremes of climate than arabicas. robusta coffee beans are the principal beans used in many instant coffees.

It doesn't take long since then for coffee to spread in the world. The Dutch were the first Europeans to enter the coffee trade. From India, they brought the seeds to Indonesia and the rest of their colonies. And soon, widespread of coffee was made known to the rest of the world...

My Coffee Website....

2007-05-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

Hi Everyone,

Due to popular demand to the origin of coffee....
I present to you... my coffee break 'site'...
When you need a break, to appreciate your break better,
You know where to look.

Simply type:
http://sg.geocities.com/ctwsdc0003002c/

Bon Appetit!

An Update?

2007-04-13T00:20:00.000+08:00

People asked me what did i learn this year that makes 2006 a year to remember me by.
Here goes the conversation...

Friend: "So Joke, how was your 2006 been? Any new year resolutions?"

Joke: "Well, for a start, 2006 was like a story book. Had many chapters, and each chapter has its thrills and tears."

Friend: "Waow, sounds like a pretty interesting year for you!"

Joke: "You can say that, I almost died out of exhaustion."

Friend: "So, whats the most proud thing you did in 2006 then? I believe that would sum up the entire year to be a good year isn't it?"

Joke: "Well.. Honestly, 2006 most memorable lessons were about love. How I realize how lacking I had, and how poorly I have been looking for it."

Friend: "Why do you say that?"

Joke: "In the course of searching for love, I guess all I found was hurts and pain. I expected some kind of sacrifice, but not surrendered-ness."

Friend: "But that's kind of obvious isn't it. With every ounce of effort you put in to love someone, it should come without any form of expectation and a sacrifice is undeniable. Unless of course you're tired of loving..."

Joke: "You're right. Yet in the course of loving another person, I realized how little I have humbled myself to allow others love me. To a certain extent, all I did was love but never realize and draw love to fill this delusion of an ever filled love-tank."

Friend: "You sound very indignant now. Are you regretting that you've been giving but not receiving?"

Joke: "There are temptations, nights that I felt like there aren't much of this world worth living for. But I know that's not Godly, nor should be in any place of a soul who is loved by God."

Friend: "Now you are sounding like someone with a savior mentality... Are you sure you know what you're saying?"

Joke: "Ha ha ha! I do, not to worry... All in all, what I gleaned from lessons of love from 2006, is that,
Love demands not what I plan to give, but my heart to give.
Love expects not a single act of return in kindness, but to bring the best in another.
Love gives no reason to hold back, only to be able to give more at the right time. Love doesn't exist in hoping for the best. It exists in accepting what is the truth, what is real, no matter how bad/worse or un-willing we may be, to accept it.
Love... cannot be hunted for. The more I try to run after it, the faster and further it went.

Yep, thats lessons in love for me!"

Friend: "Wah! Sounds like its coming from one who has gone through depression due to love.. did you really felt that way?"

Joke: "Nope. By the grace of God, I didn't have to go through what many others went through. I guess its by His protection and will that I am able to learn the lessons without going through paying the fees."

Friend: "That is crude!"

Silence, then we both broke out a grin...

Friend: "So, does it mean that you are now ready to love?"

Joke: (Smiled) "Nope. I try not to acknowledge that I am ready for love. But I do know that it will not come looking for me if I am not ready to handle it. Otherwise, as its been proven before, it will be a catastrophe.."

Friend: "Right... Let me phrase it in another way then... Has love come knocking at your door?"

Joke: (Grinning) "As much as I would love to say YES IT IS, I must honestly tell you that I am not sure if it will arrive. I just knew that it's on the way. I heard that 'Love' is coming to town."

Friend: "Right.... So are you happy about it? Will you be applying lessons which you've learnt last year into practice?"

Joke: "I am very happy to hear that its coming. For the lessons, I really hope that I do not disappoint you. People says that once bitten twice shy. Well I do hope that I do not repeat the mistakes that I did."

Friend: "Well, I am pretty sure you'll do fine! Jia You! You can do it!"

Joke: "Thank you!"

I left the conversation smiling... and praying to God:

Father, the biggest 2 words that I can use to describe this moment...

Thank You

4 days to Christmas

2006-12-21T22:01:00.000+08:00

How time really flies,
Its already the passing us by and by.
By and by we move along the
winding road which we grow upon.

I sat beneath the sun,
thinking of that tomorrow.
Dreaming of where I'll be
Hoping to be by your side.

And Now, Here's the thing!
Got to face it all from beginning..
I believe... I believe!

I believe... I believe...

---- This time tomorrow ----

Oh My God!

2006-11-25T15:05:00.000+08:00

Oh my God, look around this place
Your fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain

All fools say, "Oh my God"
Oh my God, Why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed

There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase, and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friend
Oh my God.

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away, and a mother cries

Liars and fools; sons and failures
Thieves will always say

Lost and found; ailing wanderers
Healers always say

Whores and angels; men with problems
Leavers always say

Broken hearted; separated
Orphans always say

War creators; racial haters
Preachers always say

Distant fathers; fallen warriors
Givers always say

Pilgrim saints; lonely widows
Users always say

Fearful mothers; watchful doubters
Saviors always say

Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days, mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces light
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children - this is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers - this is our greatest
offense

Oh my God

....... Dedicated to my favourite band of all time .......
2 Corinthians 4:7

After Prayers, Lie Cold..

2006-10-13T12:03:00.000+08:00

Arise my body, my small body, we have striven
Enough, and He is merciful; we are forgiven.
Arise small body, puppet-like and pale, and go,
White as the bed-clothes into bed, and cold as snow,
Undress with small, cold fingers and put out the light,
and be alone, hush'd mortal, in the sacred night,
A meadow whipt flat with the rain, a cup
Emptied and clean, a garment washed and folded up,
faded in colour, thinned almost to raggedness
by dirt and by the washing of that dirtiness.
Be not too quickly warm again. Lie cold; consent
to weariness'and pardon's watery element.
Drink up the bitter water, breathe the chilly death;
soon enough comes the riot of our blood and breath.

CS Lewis

============================================

I have always like CS Lewis style of writing. Its simple enough to understand, yet ever so deep to be able to oft gain new meanings.

back soon...

2006-09-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

Time flies, time's gone.
And all is far and long..
But none to fear and never to long,
For soon! I won't be long..

====== just a thot that came without sought ======

My spiritual bday...

2006-07-28T01:31:00.000+08:00

Woke up in the morning, spent my time praying with David. I had a fully recharged day today, with breakfast from Hans, my favourite apple pie (a pity apple crumble was out) and I truly was enjoying my spiritual birthday. I had in mind to spend sometime with God in the evening, praying at my favourite mountain. Mount Emily. Thats where I connect.

Touch Point: "have you ever been to a place where it seems so easy to pray there. Despite all the things that may be happening, or problems we may be carrying, but because we were simply there, it is so easy to connect to God..."

I had to work today, moreover, my colleague Hwee was out for reservist, therefore, i had to double-up and get myself prepared and ready for what i need to do! Had meeting with Boss, discussed about directions of where the dept is going...

Touch Point: "have you ever thought of the difference between leading and managing?"

I realize that we can be leaders in whatever position we are in, but we cant manage anything unless we are given the authority to do it. Had a fruitful meeting, lunch was paid for... and I went back to office.

Touch Point: "Is friendship defined by our own understanding and expectations of friendship or is there a common standard of friendship?"

Went for groceries shopping after prayer... and thats when I head home only waiting to be surprised....

The sisters in my group barged into my house... Banging at my door... and VIOLA! Birthday cake, tiramitsu... and my favourite... SALAD!

Crack Jokes and laugh and laugh till they forgot to share for me...hahahaha! I was so touched.. so touched... so touched.... (the dots... take note of the ...)

Touch Point: Have you ever felt so joyful before in your life to the point that you can't really feel any more? Sounds scary? It's like what's it feel like after being more than happy?

At that point in time, I realized one thing about my life... I have come to accept that:

1) People loves me and there are people who cares for me.
2) These people may not necessarily remember me everyday, or express their love to me everyday.
3) That love is not something conditional, and when others do unto me, they do not expect the same to be returned back to them.
4) And that the day I die, I know that the lesson I have learn in life about love, will be shown by the people and their tears.

Hmm... If grateful is not the word to use to conclude this birthDAY.... I really dont know of any other word!

The heart of a prayer...

2006-07-25T10:32:00.000+08:00

When the woman called the sinner entered the house of Simon the pharisee, I wonder, didnt she know that she was an out-cast and was not in the place of his home? Wouldnt she feel awkward or worry that she may be thrown out of the house? What if Jesus himself, feel awkward and out of place, when she comes with what she intends to do for Him.... But she couldnt care less. She was desperate, and she knows she has nothing left. Nothing left to offer Him, but her emptiness, for Him to fill...

And I wonder if I am willing to be empty before God and let God fill me.
As I pray and come before Him, do I bring my doubts and disbelief?
Or do I come before him, believing in His mercy and love.
And knowing, that my debts are just too much to be counted,
And His mercy, everlasting, till the day I die and go to heaven....

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Gandhi Insights:
When we are attacked and provoked, do we or shall we fight back?
Yes we do. But do we fight back out to make a difference and a change,
Or fight to punish those who fought against us.
For Me, I leave the punishment to God.
What I do, is do my very best to fight and make that change.

New found love...

2006-07-23T20:36:00.000+08:00

Been sometime since I last pinned down my thoughts in this wall.. Thought that it will be a great thing to do today. :)

I learnt from a sister just yesterday that Love aint suppose to be earned. Its kinda difficult for me to swallow, as I have always believed that faith without deeds is dead. Growing up in an environment where I need to be independent, capable and adaptive, I took lots of pride at my endurance, and how I can fix and handle so many different things and issues. Pride welled up inside me. That I must conffess. And when love reaches a point where I need to let go and let God, I realize it was really difficult. Love, to me, simply had to be earned. Believe in it as much as I would, but the fact remains, I need to do something for love to grow.

I was reading chapter 1 of a book by Max Lucado entitled Love worth giving... Not really my favourite author per-say, but he wrote a very convicting 6 hours one friday which I have on my shelf. I truly recommend this book on understanding the heart of God on the cross at Calvary!

And I finally got the answers to my doubts:
============================================
The love worth keeping, Have I learnt to accept?
So un-believing, I lived in simple denial.
Not the possibility of such love ever exist,
That's what i oft complained in sorrow.
But one who has been forgiven many,
Is the one who will forgives many.
How true is this statement, I ponder...
And how difficult is its acceptance, I struggle.

Can you fill me with your love, Sovereign Lord...
Will your heart be opened up for Me, my child.
Is it really that easy oh God?
Looks simple, hard to break through your will.
Is it that I do not trust You?
I believe in you yet there are old habits simply hard to kill.
Can I take this step of faith in love?
Its in your hands that my nailed hands are waiting to hold...

Thus begin, a new walk with God.
Knowing that I can never repay His love,
Always grateful, this reminder I have.
Never empty, for God is who'll fill me...

----------------------------------------------------
Joke Jong 2006-july Inspired by A love worth giving from Max Lucado.
All thanks to Joanna who lent me that book. :)

UPside Down Love...

2006-07-04T00:46:00.000+08:00

I recently learn a new meaning in love. Nope, not about sacrifice and neither its about a new way of loving someone. And nah.. I am not in love either :) At least not yet!

I believe though that I am loving as I am living. Not really as how the world says it as in love.. in luv... kinda feeling, but really living a loving life. In fact, most of us are... living a life-love.

Everyone of us have something that we desire in our heart. The least of it, say a baby, also desires her mother's love. And sometimes our desires may not be fulfilled because our expectations are not met. But thats how love comes into place. I guess we are 'brain-washed' by the world that love exist when 2 parties have agreed to allow each other depend on one another, or even take advantage of one another. However, what is really the purest form of love.

I realize that the purest form of love can never be taken away by anyone but ourselves. What do I mean.. say, if I love a person and that person knows it, but does not reciprocate that love... Nothing that anyone in this world can do, can stop me from loving that person more or less. So long as I want to love that person, even if that person refuses the deeds of love, still, my love exists!

Perhaps we see love right now as something so 'surface'. Something so easily seen. And the world has definitely influenced us very well through movies, through dramas, through songs, books and even businesses! However, if we really ask ourselves even as we may be together with our loved-ones, how much does love exist in the fulfillment of that expectations, i would say that its almost to none.

God first loved us. God died for us, and risen so that we may be able to experience love in that purest form. Its so difficult to understand and grasp that idea of such love when the world we live in today is so real in this.

I thought about this... I guess that the best part of loving someone is when Forest loves Jenny, and whatever Jenny does, though it hurts Forest a lot, yet doesnt change the way Forest loves Jenny. Though Jenny does not stay with Forest, nor reciprocates to his love, still, there is something more precious than whats visible, its the love and connection that Forest has for Jenny that no body, not even Jenny, can take from Forest. :)

What a therapeutic session for me. Really convicted me in my love for people around me especially to those who are often so difficult to love. Truly, there is nothing more that I can do but to put in love in my servitude to them. I believe though, like a parent to his kids, that one day, they will all understand what I do.

What a tiring week it has been for me. Been v fearful and drained out. Am looking forward to my good nite sleep now. Hopefully I can handle tomorrow better with better vigor and spirituality.

growing up... (ponder)

2006-06-28T00:09:00.000+08:00

Growing up has always been on the back of my mind since a very long time. I often wonder when will I ever grow up. But haven't I grown enough already? When can I say that I have grown up and be ready to take on new responsibilities... I wonder!

I recently came across a thought while... like usual, in the toilet, that one can never grow up until the circumstance allows him to. What is growing up really? Is it a process we force ourselves into or an inevitable circumstance which we are placed in. I once forced myself out to grow even more out of myself so that I may be ready to handle a 'dating relationship'. But truly, can I ever do that without entering one? Perhaps I can learn to be more disciplined in the way I use my money, my time, how I be more sensitive to other people's needs and taking on the role of a leader more than a follower... However, does that certify that it will make me a succesful partner in a dating relationship? I guess not.

Growing up, I realize, happens when someone above us left us. I learnt that when my parents left me to be independent, Moses learnt that when he was in the desert, Joseph learnt that when he was taken as a slave, and I beleive my disciples will learnt that when I leave them. Perhaps what I can do right now is to impart whatever that God has sown within me so that when the time comes, they will be ready to take on the responsibility of growing other people in their lives.

Truly, the only consistent factor in growth for interpersonal relationship is the presence of love. Where love exist, growth is never a problem. Time, is the problem.
We are constantly battling with time, in hoping that we can provide the necessary training within the given time. Thank God though.. that He is in control of the problem. :)

Hmm.. my thoughts are running wild now. Many words came to my fingers yet they all dont make much sense. I think its a body alarm system that Its time for me to retreat.

========= Dawn of a new day ==========

My Weekend...

2006-06-26T11:48:00.000+08:00

I had one of the most fulfilling weekend in my entire life... This is my sharing!

In both days, I got to see really beautiful things too! I saw in that in the midst of poverty, though different in our community and personality, wealth, health and everything that’s relatable through our 5-senses... That we can all still connect to one another through love, joy, our smiles, our tears. When painting the ceiling and cleaning up the 68-years old single lady, I cant help but to feel rather empty inside. Its like all the problems in the world doesn’t matter to me any-more as I know I have to help this old lady. And I believe that’s what my team all felt. We ended the work with glad hearts, and there is something in us that simply couldn’t bear to leave the place because there are more that we can offer to help. Boy! I have such a wonderful team. :)

Sunday was very heart-warming too... Seeing maids from different nations, sri-lankan, indian, phillipines, malaysia, myannmar, indonesia.. All gathering together to have a graduation party where all of them can be out of themselves, it was really joyful. Its like you cant help smiling all the way... ;) and the best part, everyone who organized and manage the event are made up of volunteers. Even the sound crew! Somehow, through this event, I experienced a greater joy than the normal laughter from jokes I received from emails, from movies that I watched. Somehow this joy doesn’t only stop at bringing the guffaws out of my mouth, but something is filled within... (Side pt, I remembered watching kung-fu hustle, and watching it in the cinema was really hilarious. I remembered leaving the theater feeling ache on my jaws, and stomach almost cramp. But after all that laughters, I felt rather empty within. It feels like everything in me has been 'laughed-out'...

Such is my weekend. Tiring weeked I must say, physically. But spiritually and emotionally, I had been filled to the brim! :)

>> To rejuvenate this 'almost-dead' blog... Gosh! I Should continue or rather start 'praying' again... :p

The Cross... A symbol of faith?

2006-06-03T09:32:00.000+08:00

I was walking to office this morning,
Saw a sleek and sexy Mazda RX-8 I think.. Red, Posh!
2 seater sports car.. and what struck me the most,
A hanging cross, dropped right in the centre beneath he rear-view mirror.

A thought came across my mind that tells me to blog it:

A Representation of Christianity narrows down to the cross.
However, if the cross serves only as a significance of our identity;
Be it hanging on a neck, rear-view mirror or bumper sticker,
Then we have misrepresented the cross of suffering with our own cross.
The original entitlement of the cross;
A luxurious crown of thorns,
Power and fame next to none but the worst criminal.
Held up high, left standing arms wide-opened nailed to the cross.
Friends betrayed, Families abandoned, Supporters back-stabbed.
Such is the luxury of the Cross of Christ...

The Long Gone 2 weeks...

2006-05-30T00:20:00.000+08:00

Its Been 2 weeks now, waow.. seems like forever it has been. Much things have been passing by my life the past 2 weeks, but I felt like I cant be too bothered by it.

I have experienced a roller-coaster ride in the past 2 weeks as well! Never been angered by a friend before, Never been felt accused, never before felt injustice falling upon my fore-head. Why forehead, cause it got me right where I know I will get it. Got it?

I guess life is not fair. And God is fair in that. I was walking home with my disciple, and I was wondering as I was pondering and having a discussion.. aka, healthy debate... God is fair... No one is perfect! What a quote... I must be a genius... or am I?

Poems seems to have died down for a little while,
The wedding is over, the bells have rang and its gone.
The laughter and its joy, now turn to chore and life simply moves on.
I wonder how normal life can be,
I wonder how interesting we can make our lives to live.
Or do we want to be interesting...

I was on my way home, still having the healthy debate with my disciple...

We are often put in a place where we do not want to be.
Or are we brought up in such a society that encourages such behaviour.
That only those who adapts well will do excellent,
and those who rebel, simply goes to jail..
Perhaps the outside is what we value more in Singapore;
What a sad, beautiful painting we are in.

Facade.. I wonder, how important it must have been in our eyes.
Yet what the judges of Singapore Idol said is so true,
We can only hide so much. and There will come a time when substance will be needed to go that extra mile. Perhaps, thats when we will fall just so that we can learn the really important issue and need we all have to address...

----- end of another chapter in Joke Jong's life in 2006 ------

dawn of a new day....

2006-05-10T13:42:00.000+08:00

I was walking down on a normal day to office. Taxi's passing by, cars moving ahead of me. Life seems pretty normal. The gentle breeze softly braised my face and though the sun wasn't in anyway scorching, I was perspiring very badly. Indeed, as one may put it, my mind's racing. Racing faster than a speed of thought. Thats if thoughts can be measured.

Life seems normal to many on the surface. Everyone's life looks and seems pretty normal to everyone. In Singapore where trouble stirs within, general outlook of everyone around us always look perfectly all-right. I wasn't. I knew that in the back of my mind, something seems to be bothering me a bit.

I guess behind every painting, lies a story of not how the painting come to life, but the painter himself. And like here I am painting you my life story, just as everyone else is painting, lies the history of the paint and its painter. Sometimes I wish life can just be that simple.

----------------------------

Just had lunch, yong dao foo.... it feels a little better with a little soup inside. When left alone for a while, and it gets dry, it can be stirred and back to its original taste it become.

----------------------------

Work is fine. In office the whole day today. Many calls and many tasks to clear.

-----------------------------

Church later... Mid week. Looking forward to it.

-----------------------------

Dedicated.

2006-05-04T00:40:00.000+08:00

Flowers on the field, lit up the savannah.
Like nature's gold, moulded by the maker's hand.
True beauty shines through the ages, all people says.
I wonder if its true, I ponder; And I always smile and wonder.

Happy birthday, Happy birthday people sing to you...
Life never seem so difficult before, as others demand of us more.
Angelic choral, sings for you, ever so enchanting, ever so longing.
For the journey we travel through life may seem harder,
So oft we forget that our end grows nearer.

Take heart sister, Take heart, I proclaim.
For the Lord has seen, and heard you from afar.
Never look back, keep going forward, I spur.
For the vision has been cast, waiting for you to trust.
Sometimes, things may seem messy with doubt;
Many times, messy we are without a doubt.
For the Lord requires but our faithfulness,
In obedience He exhalts the patience.
With humility, He empowers who deem weak.

A Lover stood waiting at the door.
Patiently waiting, he calls and longs for your return.
So Oft he stepped out of the gate,
After a long day of work, yes, the gate of his field and wait.
With tears on His eyes, and cries in his heart...
Prayers are made, and answers have to wait.
For the fruits of His field, are yet to be laid.
At the door he stands ready, at the gate his arms opens wide.

Happy birthday sister, happy birthday...
Twenty four will come and be gone...
But your memories will stay on and on.
Sweet memories shall fill the year ahead of you,
And my prayers, my well wishes, I ask for you.
That Joy shall never leave your soul....
That peace shall enter your ease...
And Love, to keep you a-live.

A Spiritual Birthday..

2006-05-02T00:50:00.000+08:00

It feels a little weird to write in what you made.
Yet I know it will make you radiant,
With smiles I know that only cheers.
So here it is, arranged and dedicated, are my words and my thoughts.
only to the best:

My hall of fame there lives,
A woman, who fears her lord she she seeks.
A friend who never fail to care,
A sister, whose distance is but that like the shore is to the sea in my heart.

For petite as she is in her size,
Huge, is the pillar of her convictions.
Like none can reach, the end of their fingers when hugged.
Deep is her soul, always filled with bliss.
Never can it be measured, not by any rod like the rivers.
What joy shall fill my heart,
When you greet me, with that lovely smile.

Happy Spiritual Birthday my sister,
You are a blessing and that is the truth.
I can see how you have grown,
I am encouraged by your climb.
A mountain you have scaled and overcame,
The up-road to heaven, you’re now walking with confidence.

As you walk in the days of your life.
with strength that comes only thru the Lord,
broken spirit, healed, shattered heart, pieced.
The light ahead may seem dim,
Never fear, never doubt, persevere, always trust.
You can do it!
Let us continue fighting the good old fight,
Till the day we meet the Lord and in his presence I can vouch,
Like a dictionary with missing alphabets,
Is my life without yours.

A Song For My Sister

2006-04-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time not too long ago,
I went on a date, like any other date.
As we walked down the lane each walked before,
I left this date knowing you unlike any other date.

God has blessed me with many source of smiles.
And you are one of those who those that give me strength for many miles..
I thank Him for the spirit he gave you,
I honor Him for the soul he mould in you.
And I'm excited in His dreams He planned for you.

2006 will come and just like 2005,
Or any other year we lived our life.
It will soon fade and be-gone.
But lessons, convictions, struggle and victories,
Forms that wonderful gift we call memories.
Though time passes and our body shrivels,
These are things in us that simply lasts.

The life we lead can be hectic and busy.
Just like jesus in mark chapter three,
To a synagogue, a lake, a house and a mountain.
With the crowd of the world right in front of him.
Yet focus and dedication never left him any bit,
As He strove and save, bringing light in places that need a lit.

I hope you'll enjoy living in twenty three,
And may the world in its luxury never makes you weary.
Keep fighting and persevering in this good fight,
And remember to never limit God with his Might.

Last but never the very least,
Happy sweet twenty three!

Mysteriousness of man...

2006-04-27T00:36:00.000+08:00

I was travelling on the MRT this afternoon and it dawned upon me, that everyone, myself included, loves mysterious-ness so much. I was pondering about why I naturally prefer someone whom I do not know well over someone whom I stay with for a year, like house-mate or colleague. I think there are some truths in the saying for the more we know another party, the less likely we become lovers at the end. However, is that really biblical? Is friendship not the basis for a long lasting relationship?

I remembered the chart for how a relationship should work out. It should first start with getting to know one another. Knowledge is the utmost importance. Then comes trusting the person with the knowledge we have about the other party.

Next comes reliance on the other party. I guess at times we fail to see this importance and get too emotionally reliant on the other party. Blame us Asians for being the most emotional beings in the world.. Neverthless, I believe emotion is a good strength. when channeled properly of course.

Only after all these, then comes commitment and then intimacy. I guess we oft jump the guns so early that causes so much heart-breaks...

Hmm, I guess I learnt my lesson well. My friend just called me Prof. Jong! And I thought how appropriate.. (grinning in a self-righteous way.. :D) That the only Instituition which can gives me that title would have to be the University of Hard-Knocks!

Looking forward to whats to come though. Its a new field I need to explore, and I am very glad and thankful that God is showing me the way to go.

My cooking...

2006-04-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

Today.. I learnt to cook, from the cook book!
What better way to learn than to learn from my mistake!

Ayam Tempra (Chicken in Lemon and Soya Sauce)
Brocolli in Lemon and Garlic
Baby corn and snow-peas
Tomato rice...

I must say, a disaster it had been.
Eat-able is a comment,
Tasty because we are hungry.

We finished the food nonetheless,
And healthy it was...
Low in calories, low in carbo...
Definitely low in sodium and not forgetting,
NO FAT.

Andy, Jo and Dewi, all good friends and tasters.
Encouraging as they were,
I am grateful for such words from their lips.
More food to cook,
Not much time to waste...
Joke the Chef,
Is a title I long to have. :)

A Song for a friend...

2006-04-19T12:01:00.000+08:00

How beautiful, the voice that sing,
the praises of her beloved King.
That music so filled with passion,
With intimacy where angels can only listen with awe.

If life is to be sung, she will sing it for you.
If its to worship, she gives it to you.
What more can the almighty ask for,
If her greatest gift is but given to the lord.

Sister, oh dear sister.
such great spirit deep in her,
So precious is the heart deep within.
as your life so hungry with love before,
In abundance now, with others you share.

More friends...

2006-04-15T01:04:00.000+08:00

To my friend and leader, And the shepperd boy who is given the task to lead BBites..

O Zion calls upon you,
Mighty warrior leader of your people.
Faith, carried as your shield,
Righteousness, used as a weapon.
And the victory of the Lord be shown,
In the battles where God's glory so abound.

Morning arise with the fear of the lord
nightfall sleeps by the grace and His mercy
You o'brother lives with the word in your lips,
With the mission deep in your heart.
And with your earthly life you sow,
a reap of joy everlast in eternity to come...

My friends

2006-04-13T09:42:00.000+08:00

This past few days wouldnt be what it was, without some special people in my lives to guide and helped me mould what you see in me.

And for that, I composed some poems for them. And I thank God for them, and appreciate that God put them in my life to complete my life.

-------------------------------------------------------

Firm as a stone you are built,
Served as a pillar you now stand.
against all odds, you learnt to be still,
Beyond emotions, you have gained understanding.

The Lord is true and just...
For He made you with that purpose,
A purpose to bear what's to come:
With rock solid faith the wind will disperse,
With firm foundation the waves will be broken.

Brother, discipler, mentor and friend.
As I thank God for thee,
I know the Lord is pleased.
For I am a friend in need, and you are a true friend indeed.

My Birthday Sharing...

2006-04-11T01:49:00.000+08:00

23rd birthday! YAHOO!!!

Thank you very much for reading this birthday sharing of mine. As I only have 1-opportunity like this in a year, I guarantee that this will definitely be a long long speech. Ha ha! Juz kidding.

Actually what I want to say this is to appreciate and really thank each one of you for making my life special. Just like a jigsaw puzzle, my life will not be complete w/o each one of you playing a part , helping me build a painting that only when everyone of us are pieced up together, we can then see that beautiful portrait. I truly thank God for His divine arrangement. Amongst us we have teacher, Asst Public prosecutor, Lawyer, engineer, technician, designer, programmer, business exec, coach, banker , slacker, slave to the government, and even muggers! And I really sit here in awe, how people from different background, age, profession, can now enjoy meal together, laughing at one another and even getting to know one another!
Special thanks to my family-group, who helps me in so many ways to make this birthday bash a success without me having to go through nights without sleep. Also thanks to Yoke and Jennifer, who never fails in wanting for us to get together, even planning this one so that my birthday can be celebrated. I truly appreciate that, and I thank God for sending me friends like you both.

2005, has been a very memorable year for me. Its a year of full surrender. I don't know if you understand what I mean, basically, life for me came to a point where I know that there was nothing in my life I could do to change for the better. I grew up from young learning from my father, how to fix things. If you ask my housemates, their impression of joke is mr. Fix-everything-at-home. To my msn friends, joke is a spiritual wise man who fix emotional problems, to my clients and colleagues, joke is an IT 'god' where computers start fixing itself at the sound of the name of Joke! Trust me, I fix everything from my own dinner to pcs, and I was seriously enjoying getting my hands involved in everything I could.

However, God has a lesson for me to learn this past year. Perhaps its time I fully understand and exercise the word 'surrender'. When playing games, surrender is never an option. But in life, I learnt to believe in having faith in a higher power that some things are just never meant for me to interfere or fix.

I was forced to be still, in knowing that realistically, I know a glimmer of hope still exist if I do something about it. I experienced the difference of hoping and wishing. In hoping, it takes a mutual consent of a common direction. When I hope in God for Him to work things out, he is working things out. Perhaps not in my timing, perhaps not in the way I see how things are suppose to be done. Wishing on the other end is like a fantasy, its not only lopsided, it may be impossible!

I also learnt what it meant to forgive. I never thought I will ever struggle to forgive. Yet the first person I have to learn to forgive, is one whom I dearly loved. I guess that’s how life works, never say never for in future, you may say you ever. The feeling is like loving someone but with each drop of love I put in, an equal amount of hurt is pierced through the heart. So often I thought about blaming myself in how lousy I was. Not only I didn’t know how to fix this relationship, I didn’t even have the courage to say “I am hurt.”. In the mode of negativity, I knew I needed a way out. And I thank God for His guidance. As a Christian, I know I needed to forgive. And so I did, I learnt to go up to a person, confess I'm disappointed, hurt and sad, and I have to say that I forgave her for all that she’s done. Above all, mean it. I remembered almost breaking down, but I know I need to do it. If not for anybody’s sake, it’s my own. I looked back now and I can laugh and say, waow! I did it. I thank God for the strength that He has given me to forgive. Without Him, I know that I will never be able to say it. I remembered, when in Sec 4, I cant even profess my liking to the girl I like in 1-proper sentence! Let alone saying that I forgive someone who has hurt me much.

If there is one thing I am really proud of this 2005, is that I grew so much deeper with God. I learn to hear His voice. I learn to obey His will for my life. It never came easy, and is often beyond explanation. However, like life, sometimes while climbing the mountain, we will never understand the landscape around us until we finally reach the peak and enjoy its scenery. And that’s how I felt 2005 was like. Nevertheless, every step I obeyed, was a revelation of how good God’s plan is.

To my dear brothers, sisters and friends, I am not sure how this sharing may unlock certain things about your life today. I am not even sure how life will be at the end of 2006. But one thing that’s certain, In my bible, God promised that his plan for us is to prosper, not to harm, to give us hope and a future. And Knowing that I can count on it, is what makes life worth my while. I hope that if there are 2 things that you can leave this birthday celebration with, will be the new friendships that is borne out of this gathering, and the application of my sharing. I no longer believe in coincidences anymore, and I know that the fact that everyone of us here is present today, is not by sheer luck.

Looking forward, my wish for 2006 is that I hope that everyone of us, be it those who just become ORDinary and working full time, or out of college or those loyally contributing to the economy of singapore, for some, it will be engagement and getting married, for others, it will still be the single lonely and still looking and waiting… is that each one of us can lead a fruitful and memorable year ahead. And I really hope that this year, I can spend more personal time with you, and laugh more about our good old days.

At that, thank you, all for listening, and yes. That’s the end of what I have to say….

A Dedication...

2006-03-31T01:20:00.000+08:00

The day I am remembered at my death bed,
With any good legacy that may be left behind;
Lives because there lives a man,
And a leader who shaped me the way I am.

As a commander who lead God’s army to Victory,
You gave me a vision for His Glory.
As a night watcher who kept watch,
You kept me safe from Satan’s catch.
As a lantern-guide you lit the darkness,
You gave a direction while I was hopeless.
As a Father to a son,
You believed in me.

The Lord speaks to you so clearly,
In obedience you follow closely.
The Lord delights in your soul,
And His abundant blessings shall follow.

As the years come and go,
Surely the eyes of the Lord will never depart from you.
For He will make you soar with wings of eagle,
Through your life shall His glory will be proclaimed.

Happy and blessed birthday!
My beloved father, mentor, brother, discipler and manager.
And thank you for every hope and belief,
You engraved in me.

Busy sundayzzz

2006-03-27T00:09:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 11.30 this morning,
Felt good that I woke up late!
Seems like a long time since I slept long,
And that definitely kept me going all day long.

Went to teach like any teaching sunday,
greeted with smilies from my wonderful students.
It feels good to be doing something you enjoy,
I just dread the day I take it as a job.

I went to chill today,
Amazingly, i visited the library.
Searched through different minds,
And found a wonderful recipes.
Oven, Oven, Oven... its all about the oven.
How true it is, to desire something only to find later,
We have so little time for it as a user.

Went home to make salad,
Waldorf they call it, and I wonder why.
Tasty as it seems, one can never eat too many.
Toilet they go, if apples are all they ate.

Simple this poem may seem,
Normal this life may be.
Yet the mind's still racing,
For the finish line has yet to reach.

Self-Pity..I shall not!

2006-03-25T01:26:00.000+08:00

Broken hearts are made to bleed,
Shattered dreams are brought to end.
But in nothing is a new begining,
For something that was never meant.
Life goes on like the wind,
Gently swaying through the bright lit sky.
For there the end, the light shines through,
God's glory, clear and bright, where I shall tread.

===========================

I was walking back to office just this evening, and as I looked away to the sky, I saw a marvelous sight where the clouds intertwined. It seems to me that beneath that blue tinted backdrop, stood angels in holy choir, and a garden so beautiful with blue birds singing.

I guess fixing my eyes on Jesus may simply means remembering Him... But what if He longs to show me something I never dreamt of seeing, the eternal home that I will stay? What if it were meant to be that it shall keep me going for the rest of my life?

Now I know why they say, that our eyes are the gateway to our soul... That perhaps in our downs, in our ups, that through our eyes, God can speak to us. God can show us His wisdom and understanding.

Turn our eyes, to Jesus, the hymns sung....
And never let it focus down.
It shall captivate the the heavens above,
or it shall desire the world around.
My God my God, even Jesus looked above,
In that darkest hour of need.
For you my God,
Shall fill my soul with everlasting love.

Tired... Happy?

2006-03-18T01:03:00.000+08:00

Went back home tired today. Bibletalk ended at my place, and I arrived right on time. When everyone was just about to leave. Yet I was smiling, am I not? Yet I was cheerful, caught me not? For I wonder, the sanity of my heart, for in the numbness or grace-coated cloths my heart is dressed.

I wonder and I wonder. Life comes, it went past. And sadly, it never comes back. At least never the same way.

My life is passing, and I know. My time, not long, but I delight in it. For this world, never my home but my rest, comes at the end. The work is plenty, with a short time there is yet to accomplish.

Tired as I may be, Lowly as I may seem, I guess its true then... Its in nothing that I give, which makes giving, all worth it!

giving up..

2006-03-17T02:07:00.000+08:00

O my soul cringe at the news,
When I know that hope was gone.
Not mine to claim,
But eternity seems to be passing by and I know...
It will be hard to believe,
Yet true to its call, the devil has once again,
Got his foothold that was long forgotten.

I ask God for mercy on my soul today,
I know why I needed that mercy in the end.
I guess forgiveness never once came,
Never before I thought I would struggle;
In forgiving one I cant bear to love.

God so loved the world, that He gave,
That I may once and thrice disappoint Him.
Only so that I may be forgiven,
Of the disappointments and tears He shed for me.

Hard to believe where grace abounds,
Shall my arms be open and my heart in love,
For the glory is never mine to claim but His to gain.
I desire nothing Lord, nothing but your will in mine.

Father forgive me that I may stand,
never righteous but a sinner.
Help me forgive,
Help me overcome.

In passing glance I saw, the surrounding greenery I so long awaits,
I ask the Lord, if my will is done.
He answers me not, for the answer I knew by heart.
The harvest is plenty, but the workers, so few.

I pray for a return,
May the swallow once set free finds its nest.
Its resting ground where the Lord dwells,
Never in the world, never on the ground,
But upon the tree of life I shall await.
I shall hope in prayer, for its only best that I shall hope,
Not in her flight but,
God's abounding grace which guide.

Widowing field...

2006-03-16T01:11:00.000+08:00

These are the days when I felt so tired that I just hope to quit.
I complained to God, I wailed and asked Him why,
My life is oft so in-complete.
I know my Father wants me to put my trust in Him.
But my weariness oft overtake my desire to embrace it.
Reality in Christendom is oft so hard to accept,
For life we live today, so easily hides beneath our emotionless faces.

====================================================

I know that i will never, live another night without you here...
The fires in the sky, illuminates the demons, closing in.

O Have Mercy on my soul,
Have mercy on my soul...
If I am not the last,
Have mercy on my soul,
Have mercy on my soul...

As I crawl around the trail,
Fighting through this widowing field...
The ground lay bare and burned,
At the places where I learnt to trust in you.

O Have Mercy on my soul,
Have mercy on my soul...
If I am not the last,
Have mercy on my soul.

Even Silence keeps my heart in racing,
I will lift my Eyes to you,
Please Father, Save me...

Have mercy on my soul...
Have mercy on my soul.

=======================================================

Its mercy we All need, Salvation we must defend.
Desire in its joy, the beauty and trust in God.
.... Sigh.... So hard, so hard.

=======================================================

Forgiveness is all hard though its for me that I need,
Ready to accept, far be it for me to reach the place.
God, O God, Please help me overcome, please show me the way...

The Always Around Invisible God...

2006-03-12T23:50:00.000+08:00

Freedom seems to be the thing every soul desires.
Yet, we never seem to understand what it means to be free.
I realize, Kingdom, Freedom and Boredom has one thing in common...
It contains us, our mind, our soul.
If freedom is a state of mind,
The in freedom, are we contained as we were before we enter freedom?

State of confusion at times we're in.
Looking always at the greener pastures we are always looking,
So what's the secret I ask,
What is it shall I be looking for in life?

I beleive now,
That life is meant for a higher purpose...
by A higher calling.
In the search not for happiness,
Rather the opposite;
How can I unlock my happiness for others.

===========================================================

As Miguel puts it,

Those who say that they believe in God and yet neither love nor fear him, do not in fact beleive in him but in those who have taught them that God exists.

Those who beleive that they beleive in God. but without any passion in their heart, any anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt. without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God-idea... Not in God.

Perhaps its true, I am what I am. And within, contains the spirit that just need unlocking. Looking through heaven's eyes people says. And we oft wonder, how would Jesus look at this, how would God see this view, rather, we should be asking, why did God allow me to see what I am seeing? And the spirit that dwells within squirms for us to put action from our thoughts. Yet most of the time, we quench it with false hopes and procastinations. I am guilty of it all the time, and I ask that mercy be upon me on that day when He will ask, What have you done with what I have allowed you to see....?

More than conquerors... Freedom in Christ... The power to shake the gates of hell...
Do we beleive in it, do we live like we believe in it...
Or do we simply know it for a fact, and do nothing about it.

I guess thats the difference in a faith-lived life,
And living a faith beleiving life...
One ever powered to do beyond what We always imagine,
Through nothing but the blood of Jesus.
The other, believing that we can do something,
Knowing that there is something to be done,
But apart from our constant wailing for a divine intervention...
God is yet to see the work of our faith, waiting still waiting,
Patiently....

The Storm's Brewing, and Cover I''ll take.

2006-03-09T18:36:00.000+08:00

I learnt the art of waiting on the Lord today.
I learnt that memories, are meant to be sweet.
And no matter how bitter it may have seemed,
Something sweet can always be drawn from it.

I was thinking about how things come and gone.
I guess I have yet to understand His will that came.
Still I lie in wait, patiently as He may direct.
Never waiver, Always perservere, Holding Tight.

Hope, Longingness, as CS Lewis puts it,
Came rooted from our desires.
If nothing in this earth can fulfill,
Perhaps I ain't made for this world at all.

===================================================

Be still my soul...
Be still my feet!
Be still my mind,
Be still my heart.
Be still my life,
Be still my voice...
Be still my self,
Be still my memories...

For I put my trust in thee, for He is my countenance.
All day I look up, All day I see His face :)
Be still my child.. Be still my Son..
Time will tell, my Glory revealed.
Trust in me, Trust in what I promised.

===================================================

dedicated to my friend,
Whose heart so oft broken.
Wonder I may 'bout your desire,
liken a dry well so thirst of water.

Your life depicts a bird longing for a nest,
So desire an acceptance,
Yet time and time again you wonder,
If such great joy simply exist.

Rejoice my friend,
Be sad no more for its time.
that you'll discover and learn,
The journey you're about to enter.

for life awaits those who'll be ready for it,
some missed it but never lost,
some fall but never broken...
And I hope that in time to come,
You will find what you'll deem fulfullment.

If your name rhymes with your callsign,
baby you call it,
strangely i may say it.
May you find what you've been looking for,
And laugh, in the fruits of everlasting joy.

God gives a damn...

2006-03-05T23:50:00.000+08:00

As I was pondering about the littlest of problems I faced each day, I didnt realize that God loves me to the point of even caring for the simplest problems I faced each day.

As the pulpit preached about the 1st miracle of Jesus Christ, the turning from water to wine, helped me see how willing God often rescue us from the disruption of sins.

As I was thinking through my life and the countless ways I have disappointed God, I finally understood why even my mistakes, can be used for His glory to be revealed and revered.

As the mistake is committed, God sees the disruption. I wonder if He will sigh... And He sees whats going to come, and see how the 'negative' outcome can be turned for Him instead of against Him...

......

I received a sight,
I saw the end of end.
It was a bright light,
High in the sky it shone.
Angels descends from Heaven's throne,
Singing carols to revere His welcome.

People from all over the world slowly rises,
As the rapture began to lift those chosen.
Many rose and looked down with tears in their eyes.
I couldn't let go,
I couldn't leave my past,
I couldn't surrender.
And I went downwards.
With tears I went downwards.
Where wails and hopelessness grew stronger,
As I inch towards the fallen world.

What an amazing sight I received!
Golden lit candles on pots it stood,
Carried by Angels we thought never existed.
I see the workers of faith passing through despair,
Giving hope to the fallen generation beneath.

I was encouraged,
And I teared.
I knew what it finally meant,
When I decide to stay on;
Simply to do what He willed...

That day the Lord waited.
He waited for all His workers.
And while waiting,
He couldnt help but to smile.
What a sight it was!

...........

I am Back

2006-03-03T12:37:00.000+08:00

Its been a month that I last blogged.
Dedicating to us, the words i have prayed.

Have mercy on my soul...
Have mercy on my soul...

I prayed for mercy, for a friend of mine.
And I asked myself, if it is me who requires mercy.
For we do, but have a merciful and loving God.

I asked God again and again what I can do.
Yet again and again He said...
Be still, and know that I am God.

And so I kneel down everyday,
Praying for mercy.
For my soul,
For my friend...

Amen!

Bitter Sweet Symphony

2006-01-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

I am crushed in the midst of my enemies.
Grant me the speed that I need to flee,
Grant me the strength to believe in my feet.
Bless me Father, for I am following, none but thee.

It seems so tough at times,
The task you put right on my hand.
I want to listen to your voices,
And walk the way you set beforehand.

I am a lonely traveller of life they said,
It was once that I found my trust.
I knew I had wronged,
And thus right now I shall reap despair.

Mercy on your calling for me My Lord...
For I seek your voice,
And I seek your face.
I want to know My Lord, if its a choice you have put before me.

The straight road ahead my Son,
Or the Winding ways that goes through pains...
I didnt ask which glorified you more, I regretted...
For I have started walking the winding route.

=================================================

Fighting... the good fight!

2005-12-23T00:18:00.000+08:00

A Warrior stands against the world.
a weakling in the eye of humanity,
a stature in the eye of the heavenlies..
Mighty Warrior.. Dressed for battle!
Holy Lord of all who lives! He cried..
And off He goes battling with the desired of the world.

His enemies are made up from within,
His power reigns through weaknesses and defeats.
For with pride his downfall will come,
And only the Lord is able to deliver and fight through the nights.

--------------------

Sin is to be seen with a different perspective. And each time I sin, is a step away from God. One step at a time, will lead to the never-returning road to hell.

In the midst of fighting and giving in from going away from the road to nowhere, I realize only the Lord can pick me up, bring me back to the road nearer to him...

Thats when I learnt... that Fighting is a necessity. Without the good fight, I will be no more.

Probably, this is a lesson in waiting, that I need to pick up. That one of the most powerful weapon against the enemy, is in the power of patient, peaceful, waiting...

Forgiveness..

2005-12-11T02:44:00.000+08:00

Grace, o how sweet the sound.
I thank thee for thy has taught me;
To forgive and be free!
He said. And pleased I'll be.

The sweet embrace of love,
Cast all our worries and anxiety away.
And we wonder why,
Such great power exist, in the essence of Love.

I am back, I am free.
Wearing the white robe thou has giveth me.
Entrusted with a hope and a future.
Oh what happy tears I have shed.

Love, the greatest gift men can be given.
The longing, the waiting that we may receive.
The power, the joy that we may give birth.
Such great creation, Our God has made,
For this fallen species He entrust.
By Freewill, he allows us to choose..
And by choices we live, to enjoy or complain.
Yet love you reward us with..
Yet with love, you enabled us to live.

Your Love...

2005-12-09T02:47:00.000+08:00

What can I ask more from thee,
For you have poured out from the deep,
All you had, and all you wanted.
You gave them all, to me.

Your sweet voice caresses my heart,
Your tender touch moved my soul.
Kind loving act broke my pride,
What more can I ask of you, my Bride.

Though the music sounds like bitter sweet symphony,
commitment allows us to endure and withstand...
The hardest fall we can ever have,
The pains of birth that we may meet.

For our love is bound by the witness of the spirit,
Through the ages and eternity our splendor shall shine.
That the angels may be jealous and the world stand in awe,
In such love we have, that our legacy withstand its name.

Long gone be the people who lived..
Yet the story of such love ever exist.
With you my love I am willing to commit,
Eternity I promise, a sacrifice to fulfill..

====================== Thoughts ========================
As promised... my friends, here stands me,
Sharing my desire of what love may be.
And can it be that I shall see,
Such love ever exist between a man and a woman.
May the Lord bless such couple if there is one!

Longing...

2005-12-09T02:25:00.000+08:00

The feeling is empty.
And the struggle is the desire.
The hope is to be re-filled,
And the pain is in its waiting.

Once I look towards the horizon,
I saw the vision of the place I own.
Joy filled up my heart,
For the Lord has given me His sight.

Time has then passed and gone,
The wait is tiring and is painful.
Lord, Lord, how long more shall I wait,
Patience my son, is all I get.

Age has to pass...
And People will grow.
Dreams and hopes will change,
But the Lord shall stay steadfast.

The bird soars high above the ground,
Its graceful flight puts the ant to its shame.
Yet the ant never will understand,
Thrice its own strength it can stand.

I looked across the grassland,
I heard the gentle breeze...
I desire to see its beauty,
In the place God grants my rest.
For I stand longing,
As I beg him for release.
Into the open I shall be free,
And never again I'll tear...

---- prologue -----
How sweet the sound, In the morning...
Was blind but now I see, Visions of rapture,
Now burst on my sight. I'll fly away... fly away...
Holding your arms, we will fly together... away...

Another Day has gone...

2005-12-01T00:12:00.000+08:00

Life's passing by like a man who walks by the fields of barley.
Wind's blowing hard, Wind's humming softly.
Rustling sound rolls in the grass around,
Beams of golden ray shone at the surround.
As I walk along and ponder.
I think about the days of my life.
I looked back and smile through the joy of i saw,
I wept as I scaled through the pains within.

Softly and tenderly, He spoke unto me.
Calling me from above,
The clouds converged.
Bright lights shone across the sky,
Oh how sweet the look,
How grandeur the sound.

As I smile to God and say,
Father, I am home..
My father embraces me tightly
My Son, I missed you.

>> Tired, sleepy eyes... What a day :p

Life... Simply Life...

2005-11-22T01:01:00.000+08:00

Morning went by hard...
Pain at my throat,
Tiredness on my head.

Seasons of joy comes,
Seasons of sadness shortly arrive.
Truly, when will this life end i ask.
A simple word yet so difficult to fulfill;
Patience.... Patience.... Simply, be patient...

I guess life is a waiting game we all play.
Waiting and Trying seems to roll us by quite well.
Failing is part of the story we all tell,
and Success always seems so far away.

Hope I cling on to.
Faith I dearly held on.
Trust in the invisible Lord i kept reminding.
And Love... Above all things, Love.
For Love will keep me alive.

I fear that my life ain't last that long,
Yet that fear contradict to my longing to be home.
What do I Have in this world that may stop me?
Oh how I cling on dearly to that hope which i know,
Till the day I die, which He may never fulfill.
Lord thy will be done I pray,
And set my heart free as I cry.

Life.... Is terribly difficult........
Still, we should all contribute to its joy.
So SM:)e! For it brings forth blessings
abounds many I can never foresee.

AMEN!

Today is the day...

2005-11-17T00:09:00.000+08:00

Father,

I made this wall for you..
Not to separate myself from everyone.
I am sorry for my pride,
Woe to me for my self-righteousness.
For you want me to live in openess.
As you have blessed me with deep thoughts,
That I too, may share thee's words with others.

May your name be glorified for ever and ever.

Amen.

I aint no God...

2005-11-17T00:01:00.000+08:00

Amazing Love, How sweet the sound..
That you Oh God, would die for me.
Amazing Love, How can it be,
That you Oh God, would care for me.
Amazing Grace, and can it be,
That you Oh God, would forgive me.

And there i stood,
on that wide open field.
Looking above, for you oh my God..
For you i search and i ponder,
And in my heart, i want to be you.

You humbled me o my God.
You shown me the color of my heart.
Thank You O Lord, that I am but a human.

The green grass bent its body by the willowing wind,
In humility, it accepts its fate be it trampled or eaten.
And here I live, as God's creation, no mightier than the grass...
Yet I cant live the day, the fact that I need nothing but Thee.

Father, control is what i desire.
And you held me back for I know not what You aspire.
For I am in no way equal to you,
Not even Jesus in his humane, compared himself equal to you.
Such is the humility,
Such is the power.
And such, is His Love for me.

Amen!

Mysterious Lover

2005-11-16T01:15:00.000+08:00

I was tired and I thought I was weak.
Yet all I needed was to talk.
I focused on loving and it struck,
And behold, here I stand upright.

I was confused...
Was I giving for my selfishness.
Did I intend on working for Jesus,
Or to glorify my own right and works.

I am tired and weak,
Only for a while.
To taste the fruit of your love,
where you are always nigh
And ever willing to share.

I am lonely and felt unloved,
Only for a while.
To have you stand by my side,
Holding my feeble hand
You pulled me close to hug.
Oh how sweet your embrace it felt.

If I desire one thing right now,
Is to be able to see your glory.
Watch your miracle,
Be held tight and gain comfort...
In believing that I stand,
With the almighty who understand.

O Mighty God who design,
The air we breathe...
Never once you complain,
The dirt we fill in the air.
O mighty God who built,
The pillars of humanity.
Never once you give in,
To our disregard of your existence.

You are a mysterious lover,
A king fighting for his people.
A lion protecting its cub.
A warrior rescuing his maiden.
Your love is unmeasurable.
Beyond the understanding of the universe...

I am glad o Lord that I have you.
I am glad O God that i can worship you...
Am glad that you send angels to lighten me,
am glad that you knw and provide for my needs.

Monday Dedication

2005-11-14T11:03:00.000+08:00

Father,

Let me trust that you will provide for my need,
That I shall no longer be in want.
Help me overcome my fears in life...
And go through life fulfilling what You have in mind for me.

Father, guide me, and straighten the path ahead of me.
I would want to pray for the lost, that they may find you.
Use me Father, to be a light to the world.

I love you Father, and Its in you that I want to confide,
And your heart is what I want to sought for.
I long for your fellowship back Home...
Where I can no longer be in longing nor in needs.

Father, I am waiting for the world to fall...
I am waiting for the tears to stop.
I am waiting and waiting...
for you I will wait.

In your son's name i pray..

Amen!

Sunday's Prayer

2005-11-12T02:10:00.000+08:00

Ps 46:10...

Father, thank you for giving us the best we can have in our lives. Thank you for allowing us to stand or sit here this morning, to enjoy your sweet grace, beautiful hope, and amazing love...

Thank you Father for giving us this powerful tool called prayer. We may go to you at all times in good or bad seasons of our lives, and your arm is never too short to save nor your ear too dull to hear. For your mercy and forgiveness, we are truly grateful.

This morning as we gather to worship you, allow us to put the past week behind, and the upcoming week out of our mind. For we live in a fast paced, worry-full society. Its so easy that amidst our worship, we get distracted and forget that you are the God almighty who not only have answers to the worries we have in our lives, but also to the perfect future that you have in mind for us. Allow us to be still, and acknowledge that You, oh God, is Lord over our life. Help us to open our hearts to be receptive to your message this day, and let us leave the fellowship desiring to do more and greater things for your glory.

Father, We would also like to pray for the sick, that you may heal. For the lonely and empty, that you may fill. For the lost, that you may guide. For the weak, that you may strengthen. For the poor, that in them you will shine. For the prideful, that you may humble. In all things Lord, we commit our lives to you, may your name be glorified through the works that you have given to us.

Father, we beg that you help us gain victory over the mission trips that we are planning for. To the upcoming trip to Seremban... Though 3 days may seem like a short time to start a church, we pray that the seeds we sow may bear fruits with your help. We pray that you may help us with our goal of bringing 20 visitors that Sunday morning, and may your hands be upon every Disciple who will be going for this trip. Grant us good health, smooth journey and victory for you. May we be used as a powerful vehicle to drive your ministry, to meet the people that are searching for you. Once again, we commit this trip into your hands.

Thank you Father for this relationship, for this awesome church, and this beautiful morning.

It is in Jesus name we pray,

AMEN.

the stand of my heart

2005-11-01T00:55:00.000+08:00

Father, forgive me,
for i have replaced thee,
with the love of sin.

I felt alone,
Yet i know you are nearby.
I felt guilty,
Yet i know you still loves me.

How great thou art,
the hymns all say.
How great thou love,
the joke will remember.

I felt alone,
Yet i know you are waiting on me...
I felt guilty,
Yet i know you are waiting for me...

Father how i long to be back home...
where the paths of sin shall never cross me...
where the loneliness of guilt can never fill me...
Deep within, all i want is just a companion...

Oh Father, never once I want to replace you.
Yet oh Lord, you know me better than I do.
Please guide my heart, Enlighten my soul.
Teach me thy faithfulness,
Empower me with thy lesson of gratefulness.

I beg you Father...
Pls.. teach me....
and let me flee...
to the land where no sin reign...

Love you father.. I love you...

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sounds....

2005-10-31T01:13:00.000+08:00

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound...
I faced such guilt, i can't deny.
Yet His grace and mercy covered me,
Such thrills and joy, I never thought I had.

Oh Almighty God.. I thank thee for thy intervention.
For your love for me amounts to the stars,
Never will you forsake me,
Never will you deny me...

Father, guide my mind,
Mould my spirit,
Fill my soul...
And hold my heart...
For I am longing for the fulfillment of it,
That I shall delight in you,
And that I will never again thirst for my passion.

Keep my dreams alive always O Lord... Keep them Alive always!

Wailing Wall Constructed

2005-10-28T01:11:00.000+08:00

My Lord My God.
Thou art my strength and my comfort.
Thank Thee for thy given mind
That I may glorify thee with my work.
To You oh God that I shall live,
To You oh God that I shall die.
Till the day I meet you where I'll lie,
I shall keep you in my heart
For the night is cold, and your body Warm....

This wall is dedicated to God...