This is My Prayerwall

My Birthday Sharing...

23rd birthday! YAHOO!!!

Thank you very much for reading this birthday sharing of mine. As I only have 1-opportunity like this in a year, I guarantee that this will definitely be a long long speech. Ha ha! Juz kidding.

Actually what I want to say this is to appreciate and really thank each one of you for making my life special. Just like a jigsaw puzzle, my life will not be complete w/o each one of you playing a part , helping me build a painting that only when everyone of us are pieced up together, we can then see that beautiful portrait. I truly thank God for His divine arrangement. Amongst us we have teacher, Asst Public prosecutor, Lawyer, engineer, technician, designer, programmer, business exec, coach, banker , slacker, slave to the government, and even muggers! And I really sit here in awe, how people from different background, age, profession, can now enjoy meal together, laughing at one another and even getting to know one another!
Special thanks to my family-group, who helps me in so many ways to make this birthday bash a success without me having to go through nights without sleep. Also thanks to Yoke and Jennifer, who never fails in wanting for us to get together, even planning this one so that my birthday can be celebrated. I truly appreciate that, and I thank God for sending me friends like you both.

2005, has been a very memorable year for me. Its a year of full surrender. I don't know if you understand what I mean, basically, life for me came to a point where I know that there was nothing in my life I could do to change for the better. I grew up from young learning from my father, how to fix things. If you ask my housemates, their impression of joke is mr. Fix-everything-at-home. To my msn friends, joke is a spiritual wise man who fix emotional problems, to my clients and colleagues, joke is an IT 'god' where computers start fixing itself at the sound of the name of Joke! Trust me, I fix everything from my own dinner to pcs, and I was seriously enjoying getting my hands involved in everything I could.

However, God has a lesson for me to learn this past year. Perhaps its time I fully understand and exercise the word 'surrender'. When playing games, surrender is never an option. But in life, I learnt to believe in having faith in a higher power that some things are just never meant for me to interfere or fix.

I was forced to be still, in knowing that realistically, I know a glimmer of hope still exist if I do something about it. I experienced the difference of hoping and wishing. In hoping, it takes a mutual consent of a common direction. When I hope in God for Him to work things out, he is working things out. Perhaps not in my timing, perhaps not in the way I see how things are suppose to be done. Wishing on the other end is like a fantasy, its not only lopsided, it may be impossible!

I also learnt what it meant to forgive. I never thought I will ever struggle to forgive. Yet the first person I have to learn to forgive, is one whom I dearly loved. I guess that’s how life works, never say never for in future, you may say you ever. The feeling is like loving someone but with each drop of love I put in, an equal amount of hurt is pierced through the heart. So often I thought about blaming myself in how lousy I was. Not only I didn’t know how to fix this relationship, I didn’t even have the courage to say “I am hurt.”. In the mode of negativity, I knew I needed a way out. And I thank God for His guidance. As a Christian, I know I needed to forgive. And so I did, I learnt to go up to a person, confess I'm disappointed, hurt and sad, and I have to say that I forgave her for all that she’s done. Above all, mean it. I remembered almost breaking down, but I know I need to do it. If not for anybody’s sake, it’s my own. I looked back now and I can laugh and say, waow! I did it. I thank God for the strength that He has given me to forgive. Without Him, I know that I will never be able to say it. I remembered, when in Sec 4, I cant even profess my liking to the girl I like in 1-proper sentence! Let alone saying that I forgive someone who has hurt me much.

If there is one thing I am really proud of this 2005, is that I grew so much deeper with God. I learn to hear His voice. I learn to obey His will for my life. It never came easy, and is often beyond explanation. However, like life, sometimes while climbing the mountain, we will never understand the landscape around us until we finally reach the peak and enjoy its scenery. And that’s how I felt 2005 was like. Nevertheless, every step I obeyed, was a revelation of how good God’s plan is.

To my dear brothers, sisters and friends, I am not sure how this sharing may unlock certain things about your life today. I am not even sure how life will be at the end of 2006. But one thing that’s certain, In my bible, God promised that his plan for us is to prosper, not to harm, to give us hope and a future. And Knowing that I can count on it, is what makes life worth my while. I hope that if there are 2 things that you can leave this birthday celebration with, will be the new friendships that is borne out of this gathering, and the application of my sharing. I no longer believe in coincidences anymore, and I know that the fact that everyone of us here is present today, is not by sheer luck.

Looking forward, my wish for 2006 is that I hope that everyone of us, be it those who just become ORDinary and working full time, or out of college or those loyally contributing to the economy of singapore, for some, it will be engagement and getting married, for others, it will still be the single lonely and still looking and waiting… is that each one of us can lead a fruitful and memorable year ahead. And I really hope that this year, I can spend more personal time with you, and laugh more about our good old days.

At that, thank you, all for listening, and yes. That’s the end of what I have to say….

posted by jokejong @ 4/11/2006 01:49:00 AM