This is My Prayerwall

An Update?

People asked me what did i learn this year that makes 2006 a year to remember me by.
Here goes the conversation...

Friend: "So Joke, how was your 2006 been? Any new year resolutions?"

Joke: "Well, for a start, 2006 was like a story book. Had many chapters, and each chapter has its thrills and tears."

Friend: "Waow, sounds like a pretty interesting year for you!"

Joke: "You can say that, I almost died out of exhaustion."

Friend: "So, whats the most proud thing you did in 2006 then? I believe that would sum up the entire year to be a good year isn't it?"

Joke: "Well.. Honestly, 2006 most memorable lessons were about love. How I realize how lacking I had, and how poorly I have been looking for it."

Friend: "Why do you say that?"

Joke: "In the course of searching for love, I guess all I found was hurts and pain. I expected some kind of sacrifice, but not surrendered-ness."

Friend: "But that's kind of obvious isn't it. With every ounce of effort you put in to love someone, it should come without any form of expectation and a sacrifice is undeniable. Unless of course you're tired of loving..."

Joke: "You're right. Yet in the course of loving another person, I realized how little I have humbled myself to allow others love me. To a certain extent, all I did was love but never realize and draw love to fill this delusion of an ever filled love-tank."

Friend: "You sound very indignant now. Are you regretting that you've been giving but not receiving?"

Joke: "There are temptations, nights that I felt like there aren't much of this world worth living for. But I know that's not Godly, nor should be in any place of a soul who is loved by God."

Friend: "Now you are sounding like someone with a savior mentality... Are you sure you know what you're saying?"

Joke: "Ha ha ha! I do, not to worry... All in all, what I gleaned from lessons of love from 2006, is that,
Love demands not what I plan to give, but my heart to give.
Love expects not a single act of return in kindness, but to bring the best in another.
Love gives no reason to hold back, only to be able to give more at the right time. Love doesn't exist in hoping for the best. It exists in accepting what is the truth, what is real, no matter how bad/worse or un-willing we may be, to accept it.
Love... cannot be hunted for. The more I try to run after it, the faster and further it went.

Yep, thats lessons in love for me!"

Friend: "Wah! Sounds like its coming from one who has gone through depression due to love.. did you really felt that way?"

Joke: "Nope. By the grace of God, I didn't have to go through what many others went through. I guess its by His protection and will that I am able to learn the lessons without going through paying the fees."

Friend: "That is crude!"

Silence, then we both broke out a grin...

Friend: "So, does it mean that you are now ready to love?"

Joke: (Smiled) "Nope. I try not to acknowledge that I am ready for love. But I do know that it will not come looking for me if I am not ready to handle it. Otherwise, as its been proven before, it will be a catastrophe.."

Friend: "Right... Let me phrase it in another way then... Has love come knocking at your door?"

Joke: (Grinning) "As much as I would love to say YES IT IS, I must honestly tell you that I am not sure if it will arrive. I just knew that it's on the way. I heard that 'Love' is coming to town."

Friend: "Right.... So are you happy about it? Will you be applying lessons which you've learnt last year into practice?"

Joke: "I am very happy to hear that its coming. For the lessons, I really hope that I do not disappoint you. People says that once bitten twice shy. Well I do hope that I do not repeat the mistakes that I did."

Friend: "Well, I am pretty sure you'll do fine! Jia You! You can do it!"

Joke: "Thank you!"

I left the conversation smiling... and praying to God:

Father, the biggest 2 words that I can use to describe this moment...

Thank You

posted by jokejong @ 4/13/2007 12:20:00 AM